Surgery

Warning: Very, Very, Very, Very Long Post!

I was going to do a Mass blog about Memorial Day Weekend, Something Tugging At My Heart and Surgery, but I think that might be a bit long. So, I will save two of the other posts for another day...I know hold on to your hat b/c there are some whopping posts to come! (:

I do want to get this post in b/c I feel it is important for me to remember this and to have for the baby one day!

The Friday before my surgery we called into the hospital to get our time to be there. When they said 9:45 am I nearly choked! I mean 9:45 is the time to be there; 11:20 was supposed to be surgery time. I told the lady on the phone that I am sure by 10 no one would be allowed to touch me for fear of me eating them, but that we would attempt to follow the rules! To try to help my situation, Todd called the Surgeon's office and stated that it might be hard to not eat/drink anything for midnight the night before. They said just make sure she doesn't eat/drink six hours before surgery! Awww, much better! The weekend flew by and I was relatively calm considering my upcoming date with the knife! Sunday we were busy, busy which was a good thing b/c I didn't even have time to think about the next day! I ran from the boys lacrosse game, to a birthday party, to dinner then home to pack for the hospital and situate Margaret Ruth for the next couple of days. Here are a few pictures from the party:







Strangely, God allowed me to have a good restful nights sleep on Sunday night. I figured I would be up around 3 am due to nerves, but I slept through the whole night.
Morning came and before I knew it we were at the hospital. We walked into an area and they took me back to a pre-op room right way. Of course they wanted me to change which I sorta did. Do you know why it is like a meat locker back there? Needless to say I didn't take off my pants and put my sweater over the gown. The nurse laughed and said the gown hooks up to a warmer if I'd like to put that on! Oh yes warm me up baby! She hooked me up to the IV, warmer and gave me some blankets. I was so comfortable and had such peace I almost fell asleep, but Todd beat me to it! Before I could close my eyes for a deep lumbering I hear...ZZZZZZZZZZZ only to look over at my husband asleep sitting in a chair. Needless to say he had a peace about him too! Nothing like my man worried about me!

Before long I had to use the restroom over and over and over. Guess what just kicked in? Yep, nerves! Whenever they kick in I have to pee! Oh, I also refused to take my undies off. I told the nurse and Dr. that he was working on my neck not anywhere close to my belly button and below so he'd have to deal with me not being naked...a girl has to have some dignity! (: A few weeks before surgery Todd had mentioned he had a Friend who was a surgical tech at Lankenau Hospital. Immediately I told Todd to make sure he doesn't have my case. I didn't want to have anyone I would know outside of the hospital setting in the operating room with me. The weekend before my surgery without my knowledge Todd contacted his friend and his friend's daughter was having surgery the same day and would not be working that day. He did tell Todd that he called in and spoke to my OR nurse and told her who I was and to give me the VIP treatment! At the early stages of sitting in the meat locker a nice nurse came in and asked who I was. She then told me that she was told to take good care of me, she introduced herself, rubbed my leg and said "I will take great care of you and your baby". You can imagine my relief! The regular nurses told me that she was the head OR nurse and very good!

11:00 came and we began to notice the ward becoming very quiet, 12 came and there was not a sole other than a few nurses, 12:30 came and I began thinking they forgot about me. Whoohoo let's go home! As you can imagine my nerves were building minute by minute and the longer I sat the more agitated I got. Needless to say the entire time we were in the pre-op room Todd and I discussed surgery whether too or not too. There might have been a "peace", but there was still the uncertainty we were doing the right thing, taking the right risks and picked the right surgeon! We would talk, then stop then start all over again. At one point we called my Endicinologist to go over the reasons again of why we were doing this. Bless her heart we must of have driven her N-U-T-S, but she sweetly reminded us that in her clinical opinion why we needed to do this, but that she could try to control this with medication. She also mentioned that she wasn't so sure that we wouldn't be back in a pre-op room for a thyroidectomy later down the road. With that said the nurses began coming in to finish prepping me for surgery. Then in comes a middle aged man...Great some unsympathetic man who is going to poke and prode me! He sweetly smiled at me and tells me that he will be my anesthesiologist for the day! He reassured me in a grandfatherly way and answered all questions I had. Then after hours of waiting he began to roll me down the hallway...Wait, wait I am not ready. Not now. Even if it was 1:30 I wasn't ready! I looked at Todd smiled and said I love you. Todd took my hand and said we would be fine! I told my anesthesiologist okay and looked away from Todd so he didn't see the fear radiating from my eyes!

Rolling down the hallway my heart began pumping and my nerves began shaking. As we turned a corner I saw that sweet head OR nurse who said remember me? I told her yes and she said that she was there now and would remain close by from there on out! Sigh-Relief-Sigh! Okay, now I can breathe a little more calmly! We entered the OR and well it was like we suddenly landed in Antarctica. What in the world? I said to the staff, "you all like it cold don't you?" They laughed and asked me to switch beds from a nice roomy bed to a bed the size of my thigh bone...They said not to worry that it holds 1000 lbs. Great, but where is the comfort? Dr. Shepherd (the anesthesiologist) said to put my head on this nice little circle foam pillow. I asked if I could have one for home...he giggled and said only the best! As I sat there and they moved me putting each arm out from my side as if I was about to hung on a cross I began to get overwhelmed. Suddenly, a man appeared at my side. He said he was the surgical resident...W-H-A-T?!?!?!? Okay, I am done, get me out of here! Todd and I specifically asked the Dr. if a resident is doing the surgery and he told us NO! Now here is this young man standing over me telling me he is a resident!? H-E-L-P! As if he read my mind he disappeared; a nice lady appeared where he was and just stared at me. I kept thinking okay where do I go from here. What conversation can I bring up? Hum, so what college...no, no...do you have kids...no, no...what made you want to do this...no, no forget it I will just let her stare at me. Something must have been up with the surprises b/c suddenly another lady appeared at my other side and introduced herself. There was something about her face and I began to bawl! In the midst of my tears I looked at both women and begged them to take care of my baby! I told them it was one thing to take care of me, but that I have a baby too! Please take care of him b/c I already love him and depend on him to be in our family! Before I knew it Dr. Shepherd put a tissue in my hand, rubbed my arm and leaned over to say I promise we will all take care of you and the baby! The nurses looked at me again and said they would take good care of us. I felt so silly for crying, but I was so scared! It is one thing for me to do this...I know my body and know I could handle surgery, but I have a son and I didn't know if he could handle the surgery! So, it made my motherly sense heightened and my nerves for the lack of control I had go out of control. As the tears continued to stream down my face my surgeon appeared. Now please reference my previous post about a man being my surgeon, lack of bed side manners and he was always running late...I looked at him and asked him, "Did you have lunch?" He nodded yes. "Did you have enough to drink?" He smiled and said yes. "Did you rest?" Yes. "Do you need any more time to get thoughts together or rest?" He sweetly smiled, rubbed my arm and said, "I am feeling great and will take great care of you." With that they put a mask over my nose and I was out.

Surgery took 2.5 hours, which seemed long, but they expected it. Everything went perfectly! He was able to get my entire thyroid out and was able to identify 3 of the 4 nodes, (which is a good thing b/c those nodes need to stay in my body to regulate other tings). In recovery, I woke very easily and calm. Dr. Shepherd remained at my side as I woke up. Immediately I asked for my husband and they were off to get him. As he began to appear in my sight I noticed cramping. I informed my nurse and within 10 minutes my OB was there talking to me. Awww someone I know! I tried to have a conversation with her asking her about her new baby and what she had. She smiled and said she had a baby girl 6 months prior. After going over my symptoms she said that I was having some contractions, but would administer a drug that should help with that. She also let me know the baby was fine and did great! Swish the relief doors opened! Todd never left my side, not for a moment, not a phone call, not an itch. He held my hand and stood at my side while I woke up. He spoke to the Dr. and took in all information they gave him. He was fabulous! Most men have no clue what to do or how to be there! He did great and I couldn't have asked for better. It made me love him even more! He was such my rock! Even though he had on a brave face I think he was glad that it was over and we were okay.

Okay, my surgeon...I take back everything I ever said about him. It turned out that he was fond of me and when he could have sent a resident in to see me he came instead to check on my himself. He monitored me as much as he could and even saw me several times a day! He answered all questions, didn't act rushed and even talked generally with us! Turned out he was a Dear and that God directed the right man for the job to my throat!

Now, despite my desire for modesty I know that went out the door as soon as I was asleep in the OR. Reason being is that I awoke in a different gown, with sticky tape in places I thought they wouldn't have been near, iodine all over me and thoughts of my boobs flopping all over the place while they are trying to move me around, side to side. Oh, Dear! The OR staff is so used to seeing things and I am sure it doesn't faze them a bit, but for me it is horrifying! I at least like to have met them a couple of times before being naked! At least I fought for my panties to be on! Whew!

After about an hour and a half I was wheeled to my private room on sug/med floor. Somehow they decided last minute to put me on the surgical floor instead of maternity, but insisted that I got a private room due to the pregnancy! It was awesome! The room was bigger than the maternity rooms and the nurses call that the spa floor! Please! I was in and out of it for several hours and just talked to the Dr. and Todd. Imagine those deep toads out in the woods by the lake in the summer that is what I sounded like, but a hoarse one! It was funny sounding! As far as pain was concerned I felt a burning where the incision was and had pain (like punching over and over in the face) from my lower jaw to the middle of my chest. Todd and I had just begun to realize the extent of what goes on during surgery. Pain was moderate, but the drugs that I had for surgery and afterwards were still in my system controlling it. I had two pieces of bread for dinner and Todd ate the rest! Eventually he pulled out his computer and continued to post updates on me on facebook. Then as the drugs began to wear off I wondered why my jaw and chest would hurt, so we looked up the surgery on the web. Oh my! Did not realize the extent in which they did it. Most people are given the impression that, they cut you, take it out and sew it up. Hahahaha they tilt your head way back so they can get to the thyroid, cut about 5 inches, have to disconnect the nerves to the thyroid, disconnect the thyroid from the windpipe and moving things around. All of this while they are poking around, moving things, stretching skin and messing with things that shouldn't ever be messed with. It is a bigger deal than what people think! Not to get on a soap box either (this post is already way too long), but a lot of people have no clue about the thyroid and the damage it does. A lot of women have a thyroid issue of some sort, but not a lot of people understand it. I just want to say that having had a hyper-thyroid plus grave's disease ate my life away! I have not been myself, felt well, felt alive for months!!!! It has taken time away from my family, work, friends, motherly duties and my life. I felt like an alien was living in my body! It takes a toll on everything and literally sucked the life out of me! I didn't want anyone touching me, didn't want to talk to anyone, wasn't motivated to do anything other than sit still! This is a very serious disease one that can be devastating and one that was for me. Okay, I am done with that!

About an hour after we watched the surgery the drugs really flushed out of my system. Todd was on his way out to go home for the night and then B-A-M. I was in a lot of pain, had tingling in my fingers, felt like an elephant parked his hiney in the middle of my chest, contractions and arm pain. Needless to say Todd asked for a cot and parked himself for the night! The OB gave me a dosage of medication during the next 24 hours, they gave me some morphine for immediate relief and percocet for long term relief. They took some blood, did a quick EKG and said the surgical resident would be down. All of this happened at 11 PM. Once the morphine kicked in I tried to settle in for the night, but kept being woken up by pain/nurses/Dr./nerves. My body didn't want to sleep at all. I finally fell asleep than at 3 am then surgical resident came in...Glad to know I wasn't dying b/c he would have been late! He informed me that I had a calcium deficiency which is normal for a thyroid removal and I would have to take a calcium supplement and be monitored for the next couple of hours. The rest of the night was wasted between vitals, resident rounds, doctor rounds, trash changing, needle disposal removal (can't they do this at a later time) and then the arousal of the surgical floor. By mid morning I was pooped! Once again they took my blood and noted the calcium deficiency got worse and up-ed my drugs. Earlier that morning the Dr. said he most likely would keep me another night and I told him that was fine by me, but by mid morning I regretted that statement! I just wanted to go home and get rest! So, to get moving I gave myself a sponge bath since I wasn't allowed to shower. I had iodine all over the place and had to scrub my skin for it to come off! Then I sat in bed and relaxed drifting in and out of sleep for the remainder of the day. Thank you Jesus for drugs! They did wonders and allowed for me to have ease of pain! With every passing hour my voice still hoarse sounded more and more like myself in a pre-pubescent boy way though. By the end of the afternoon I was begging to go home! I desperately wanted to sleep and be home! Todd wanted to go home as well, he wanted to shower and change, but also wanted to be there when they did the 3rd ultrasound. So, he stuck around tired, dirty, unshowered all day until 10 PM on Tuesday night. That was the official word they weren't coming to do the ultrasound until the next day. I forced him to go home and get some rest! The next night wasn't nearly as sleepless, but I was still woken up every 2-3 hours. At 4 AM they decided to switch out the needle disposal box again while they took my blood again!!! ARRRR The resident made their rounds in time for me to call Todd and wake him up. We were told the ultrasound would happen at 7 AM so Todd wanted to be at the hospital at 6:30 am. I waited for him to get there before I got into the shower! When he arrived he said that once he left the hospital he got another burst of energy so he stopped by the grocery store and made me chocolate covered strawberries for my breakfast! So sweet of him! He makes the best choc. covered strawberries! YUMMY! I love his strawberries that I will never tell the kids he's made them until I have had my fill...I know I am so selfish, but they are just that good! As I took a shower Todd came in and said the dr. was on his way to come get me for the ultrasound. I hurried and showered. We did the scan and once again our little booger hid his stomach from view. Our Dr. informed us that we would have to do a Fetal MRI at the choice of two hospitals. He answered as many questions as he could and took me back to my room. We put that to the side, I showered again and packed to go home. By 10:30 we were out of there, but b/c of my blook work showing the continued calcium deficiency I have to remain on calcium supplements at least until I deliver the baby. I got home and went to bed!

The past week has been relatively good. Todd has taken over the baby duties and allowed me to have some much needed rest. My mom came into town last Thursday and stayed a few days to help out! It was a very nice visit and I enjoyed seeing her be a grandmother to my kids! I really needed her and it was good she saw that and came up! My community group from church has been dropping off meals to allow me to just focus on healing! We aren't even official church members and they have been just an awesome group of people to us! All the meals have been yummy too! I could get used to this! (: Pain wise...If my head is straight I can't notice anything, but sometimes I forget and turn my head quickly that is when I can really feel it. My incision only throbs at night so pain is minimal! I am down to taking percocet only at night. My throat isn't sore anymore and my voice has returned to normal, (despite my children's desire). I have yet to feel normal and have been sleeping about 15 hours out of the 24 hours we are given! We called the Dr. to make sure I didn't need a medicine adjustment. She said that my body was so hyped up that it is going to take some time to get it down to a normal level. She also said to continue the medicine as is and not miss our appt. next month. Until then I have a pass to sleep! (: I have noticed that when I am awake I am more motivated to get things done and can accomplish normal activity levels while awake. That is a good sign in my mind, but it is frusterating that I have to sleep so often! ARRR.

As if this isn't long enough I do want to include a gratefulness to my Heavenly Father. I do have to say that it has been a long time since I have felt really prayed for. Not to dismiss my families constant prayers, but I don’t really feel prayed for every day. Yet, beginning early the weekend before and up until I got home I felt the powerful hedge of prayer protection over me and this baby of mine! It was so comforting and reassuring! Even though I had some doubts/nervousness I was at extreme peace and felt the presence of the Lord. I even feel that Todd felt it and God gave him strength to endure all of this alone! It was a great feeling to have in the midst of fear!

Finally - We have scheduled a Fetal MRI for next Wed. at 2 pm. We will be able to talk to a surgeon immideatly after the MRI and get answers to whatever/if there is anything wrong! I am grateful that we will have answers! All these medical issues are such confirmation that we will NOT have any more kids! I look forward to no drama in this house!!!

Here is a picture of my new neck. It will continue to heal and I hear will be covered by wrinkles when the time comes! I also included a picture of my fabulous nurses!