A whiny 5 year old?! Where? Who me?

Catchy title hugh? Well, my post will explain the title...Trust me!

I have been a little MIA on the blogging lately and well there really isn't an excuse except that I was doing what my grandmother told my grandfather to do..."Shut up and die like a Christian," okay so I am not dying, but I figured I should just keep quiet and "suffer" in silence. (Now before all you bloggers who know the family secret...No the big man isn't dying either, but the way he'd have you see it he is dying of a stubbed toe. He might be a Christian man, but he is still a whiny one at that. Gotta love the man, but gotta love the wife who said that to him. God Bless you Tai Tai!) A little over a week ago a fellow blogger gave birth to her twins, yes she carried one boy and girl (big babies 7lbs. & 6 lbs.) to full-term. She did all of that without one, NOT ONE, complaint. She was realistic, brave and inspirational with her determination to get these babies to home plate. I mean to have two babies that big in your belly, whoa momma, that has got to be uncomfortable! It hurts just to think about it! So, having this inspirational woman in front of me (pregnancy wise) I felt it would be selfish, unjust, spoiled brat, whiny, complaining, etc... of me to say what was on my mind. I mean look at how far I have come...I have a hyperthyroid disease which is supposed to cause infertility issues then not to mention I just stopped breast feeding Margaret Ruth just a month before I got pregnant. On top of those two factors I was on medication that should have prevented pregnancy or miscarried the baby then to pile it on I was having uncontrollable Grave's disease symptoms which lead to surgery. To say the least our baby boy is a miracle and then for me to think of complaining makes me a selfish, ungrateful, miserable person, wife and mother! There are people who can't have babies or have to go through great lengths/pain to have them and here I am my husband looks at me and BAM I am pregnant...I should be grateful, joyful and praising the Lord up and down!!!! Trust me; I have been trying and focusing on the single fact that God chose me to be able to experience childbirth and the connection of my own children without having to feel the pain of wanting a child and not be able to conceive. I have tried to talk myself through all these feeling of being sick and uncomfortable, but I just have to take after my grandfather this one time, (okay maybe I am more like him then I care to admit but Tai Tai I am trying to have your attitude I am just failing at it. You set the bar pretty high the last couple months of your life). This pregnancy has not been a breeze. I have been sick upon sick upon sick. Now with Margaret Ruth I talked to the porcelain god every day/night and then would go about my business with this baby it has taken me out. I remind myself of an elephant being killed and the slow moving legs collapse and the body slides to a halt (dramatic I know..this is the 5 year old in me). I just can't seem to get my legs back under me. Every time I think I turned a corner WHAM, BAM, POW (imagine batman cartoon) I get sick again, just to get better to get sick again. ARRRRRR. Do you know how much time and money this has cost my husband, his business, the patience of his partners and employees? Do you know how much I have missed out on in the lives of our children, home and my husband? Much to much! It makes me sick to think about it. Just this past week I spent two full days in bed with a massive head cold that was accompanied by extreme exhaustion. I am never sick, never ever ever, but ever since this hyper-thyroid I have been down and out more often than not! Then to accompany this lovely gift of sickness my son has decided to stretch his little body to full capacity and take up every inch of space I have to breath with as a play ground! ARRRR He will kneed my lungs with his feet then play peek-a-boo with his feet in my ribs! He has got me so uncomfortable that the last few nights I have spent crying to Todd hoping there would be something he can do or someone he can convince to take this baby out!!! Yup, I said it take this baby out! Yup, I am only 27 weeks and am ready to throw in the towel....I don't usually feel like this until 38 weeks I am a full 11 weeks ahead of schedule. Now what do I do? I also feel as big as a house! I know I am as big as I was with any of my children at 40 weeks!!!! I feel huge and I think it is all because he has his feet in my space! If he were sitting low I think it wouldn't be as uncomfortable, but b/c he is sitting high I am just a miserable momma! Now with all this said, it doesn't account for the fall I took a couple of weeks ago at the pool on my backside. Can I tell you how much that hurts? I can barely walk at times and if I can walk I limp badly. I am not even going to go into trying to sleep on my hip/back! All I can say is ouch and ouch and can someone put me out of my misery? This is all a exactly week 27!!!!!!!! Have I explained my title yet?

Okay, Windsor, focus we have only 13 weeks left! I am grateful that God chose us to be the parents of this beautiful, not to mention healthy baby boy! I recognize all the bullets that we have dodged during this pregnancy thus far and the consistent hand guidance that God has had on me, my doctors, husband and this baby. I have three beautiful children and will have the fortunate opportunity to soon say I have four beautiful children. God has blessed me beyond words and I am eternally grateful for all the gifts and privileges he has chosen for me. I will be extremely grateful for the surgeons who will double tie and cut both of us so that we will not be able to have a #5 unless God really sees fit. Windsor, through Him you can do all things!

Told you there was a whiny 5 year old here!!!! Thanks for listening!