The thyroid can do what?!?!

As most of you can recall when I was 22 weeks pregnant with Payson I had a complete thyroidectomy and ever since that day I just haven't been right! (Okay, people so let's just agree that I have never been right mentally so with that aside...I haven't been "normal" right).

First hint of something being wrong with me is when a sloth is moving at light speed compared to me. Not that I ever had boundless amounts of energy, but I was able to stay awake at least 15 hours of the day. Now, not so much. Literally, I wake up after many good hours (let's say 10 hours) of sleep and could put my head down again for another full nights sleep. When Margaret Ruth goes down for a nap I am right beside her and if she has her "I'm not taking a nap" phase that day I make her watch a movie so I can get 30 mins. in. How sad is that? I am T-I-R-E-D is an understatement. To be honest I hate that I have become "that" person who every time you ask them how they are they always say "I'm tired". My neighbor is "that" person and it drives me batty b/c she doesn't work (at a job or on her house for that matter) and has two big kids, (look at the kettle calling the pot black). Focus, Windsor!

Another hint I am off is that I am down right depressed. Not the kind that I have a million cats sitting beside me or that I sit in my PJ's day in and day out, (even though the thought tempts me), but the kind where it takes all I have to get motivated. Going to the grocery store is like working in the cotton fields dreaded, back breaking work. Taking Payson to his therapies is like sticking my tongue to a frozen metal pole it just ain't fun/pleasant or desiring. Living life just wears me out before I begin.


Finally, the last thing that lets me know something is wrong is that I am unorganized! Usually I especially organized, not neurotic, but reasonably! Now, if somethings out of order I just say oh well. It is so bad that, (mom hold on to your britches) I have piles of paper sitting on my dining room table and they aren't Todd's! CRAZY! These papers have been there for a week demanding my attention and all I can do is look at them and go maybe tomorrow. Let me tell you this is great for business especially since Todd has hoarding tendencies, (not nearly as bad as the show, but he has tax returns from 1987 I was only 9, his first marriage license, student loan papers from over 20 years ago and even his first car loan, etc). We both seem to be running around in a fog. My motivation is so off that I have thought on many occasion how nice it would be if "Windsee, could have a secretary to keep her on task". Geez! This is nuts!

Now I am not writing this post because I want prayer or needed to be a Debbie Downer, but because I am excited b/c all these "instances" that have me thinking I am crazy coincide with this darn thyroid! Yup, you read it...The non-existent thyroid seems to be the demon here! Let me put this in some perspective, I am not one of those people who research every disease I have and naively trust my doctors to steer me in the right direction, (oh how that changed when Payson was born). Yet, ever since my thyroidectomy I have complained to my doctor the above symptoms over and over and over. Every time I see her I tell her the same story, but because my levels were normal she felt I needed to ride the ride. Well, this week I got sick of the ride and decided to get off. I looked up online all my symptoms and blog after blog, thread after thread, medical site after medical site I read my story being told by thousands of others. Tons of other people have my exact issues and all those people were on synthroid, (which I am on). Yet, after much complaining to their doctors they decided to go on a natural medication instead of the synthetic synthroid. Again story after story of how much better they felt and how they got their lives back. Then I heard the angels sing...Finally, I am not crazy (okay, people we agreed that I have some level of instability) and these were very real symptoms and there was a solution. Did you notice the WAS? Apparently, the natural medicine got reformulated in 09 adding additional fillers and people have complained that their symptoms are coming back. Unfortunately, Forest Pharmaceuticals haven't listened to the rumblings and have continued with the new version of their product. So, that leaves me discouraged, but I have decided to take a stand against my doctor and find a better medication that will allow my body to absorb the hormones better! I can't tell you how excited I am to have found out this information and to be a informed patient that can fight for my normal! Woohoo, now here's to hoping that there is a perfect medication for me out there!

On a side note, although this isn't a side note at all, it should be a main headline:

My mom's husband, after 15 weeks in the hospital was finally able to return home last night! The fact that this man is still on this earth is nothing short of a miracle, but the fact he can walk, have intellectual conversations and has a normal (although a new normal with the loss of his arm) looking future is undeniably a million miracles! God has been faithful to Greg and mom! Now the hard realization of how much life has really changed will begin to settle in and it is my prayer that God sustain both of them as they deal with these losses of what used to be. Like in my previous post, Greg is one lucky guy because my mom is beyond exhausted, (not only the physical, but emotionally as well) and not only has she held herself together keeping one foot in front of the other she has done that for Greg as well. She sweetly dotes on him and gently forces him into independence. Please keep both in your prayers over the next couple weeks as they adjust to life! He has brought them this far and is not going to stop carrying either of them!

Final Thought:

This will be my last post before school starts up again. Boy, I look forward to not having this nagging "need to finish school" over my shoulders. 15 years after high school and still going strong! One day...one day sooner than later (or so we hope). I will try to keep up with my posts, but if I don't you will live and so will I. :)