5 years later...

It's hard to believe it has almost been 5 years since I last blogged. There have been times that I have missed writing. Maybe even craved it, but never made the time to sit down and get back at it. I began to write so that family and friends could keep up with my crazy life, but then Payson happened and it became my way to keep everyone informed. Eventually the hardships with Payson and the roller coaster ride we were on became so painful that blogging was painful. I had to relive what I so desperately wanted to forget. Unfortunately in doing so I have no record of our daily up's and down's for the past 5 years and I regret that. My kids deserve a record of our life together. So, here I sit on a Saturday night dipping my toe back into the water. Updates: Payson - No longer has a trach. No longer has a hole. We no longer have a nurse during the day. No longer has dreaded diseases that should be lifelong. He has been healed of many complications. That isn't to say we don't still have problems as we do, but he has come so far. He does still have a g-tube as he can't consume enough calories to support his body. He is small, but he is mighty! Boy is he mighty! He can run, jump, swim, bike and play. He outlasts us all! First grade has been a success and we are looking forward to second grade. MR - aka Mother Hen. She is super smart, beautiful, tender, kind, fun and a complete joy. I have spent the last half of the year homeschooling her, (homeschooling is not meant for me). As far as her brother is concerned she can care for him better than I. She has begged us to help in caring for Payson, so these last few months I have showed her how and she is a natural. Although she has decided not to be a nurse she will be helping people by being a police officer. You go girl!!! Zach- is 20! Crazy! He is a full-time student at University of Texas San Antonio. His major is actuarial science...calculating risks. Todd and I often wonder what got him to that specific degree and come up empty, but he is well on his way and has his whole path planned out. Texas is okay for now, but he looks forward to returning to the East Coast. Condensed populations seems to be a thing missing from Texas and he misses it. No one special in his life, but is living with a friend in an apartment and plays ultimate frisbee, until he hurt his knee. We have him this week, but have to let him go back to do summer classes. Walker - oh, my boy Walker! He is also 20 and we are planning a 21st birthday get-a-way! Due to college costs he decided to go to the local community college and get an associates. He has been developing his art and is a very talented artist. Some of the things he draws I question where he comes up with it. It's amazing to see how his mind works. Tattoo's are a passion of his and has a full arm sleeve of water themed tattoos. It's his desire to become a tattoo artist, but not just any artist a business owning one. Like Zach, he seems to have his path planned out. He still lives at home and helps out with the kids when needed. Its fun to see these young men become adults and deal with the real world. He and his friends have turned out to be great young men. I am super proud of all of them! He does have a special someone and has for the past year and a half. She is a delight and is the ying to his yang! (: In the past 5 years I have learned of some health issues that my body hosts. They are pretty scary if I focus on them, but I rarely allow myself to sit and dwell, but try to live my life one day at a time and as if it is my last. There are times I will text someone to let them know how special they are to me and they immediately wonder what I want, but it's just me trying to make sure all the people in my life know how much I appreciate their presence in it. It's these moments of appreciation/deep thought that I have craved my return to writing. Funny how life reminds you of what you need. Well that's our update! I will try to continue writing on a consistent basis as it is more for me than anything else.