72 Days and A New Button

Can you believe that Payson is 72 days old? You know what that means right? 72 days of being a NICU family, running back and forth to the hospital, managing a family on fumes and having the little boy who has taught me a thing or two about making the best of your situation! It has been one of the hardest times in our lives, but also one of the most rewarding!

Today, as the nurses and I discussed this milestone in our lives I asked the nurses questions about having a job that involves very tiny people vs. the adults. One of the nurses said to me that she'll never ever work with adults again after working with her babies. She said that, "these babies are some of the strongest, forgiving, amazing people" she'll ever know! Some of the procedures that these babies endure and the length of their stay would drive most adults batty, but not the babies. No matter how bad it is they still want you to hold them and sometimes will even give up a smile! (: As you can imagine this nurse is one of my favorite nurses! I asked this question to the nurses because I have spent many a afternoon watching them work, care and love their tiny patients. I have seen the wrenching heartache that come with losing a child and seen the happiness expel from a parents face as they carry their baby out of the NICU. All of this has made me wonder if I should go to nursing school to become a NICU nurse. All of my life I have wanted a career to help people, but never seemed to tap into something I liked. Now, I see the good, bad and ugly of nursing and still have a desire to go...that is until I think about the science and anatomy studies! Only time will tell because for the short term I have a little boy to nurse back to health!

Speaking of little boy today as I finished his bath a man walked up to the bed. When I looked up I saw it was the surgeon, (whom we hadn't seen one of these men for a couple of weeks now) and he was carrying supplies! Wow, you know what that means? He was there to put in a G-tube button! Wahoo, Yipee, WooHoo!!!!! After a few minutes and a little bit of crying from Payson this new button was installed and ready for its first feeding! Even though this caused Payson some pain and discomfort he didn't have a meltdown! He has a little episode of holding his breath, but compared to what he used to do this was nothing! He did beautifully! Immediately, the nurse and I noticed a huge difference with ease of connecting his feeding to his tube and how secure the connection was! We were so excited...Sad I know, but hey it takes just the little things now a days! So, instead of having a wafer with a long tube coming out of it's middle he now has a button that opens and closes. The wafer used to move around a lot causing a lot of skin irritation now the button stays put and won't bother his skin. Instead of having to worry about this tube every time we moved him or having him pull on this tube he has this wonderful button that he can't reach! Instead of having to always put him in button down clothes he can now wear any kind of clothes because of this button! One less line and one more thing so he can look like a normal little boy! A good day indeed!

Now that we are a week away from the study there is a buzz in the NICU concerning Payson and his upcoming surgery. The buzz is really excitement for him and us, but with that comes a bit of sadness! We are very nervous, excited, scared, thrilled, hesitant, impatient and so on! We can't wait to take this step forward, but we are dreading the step he has to go through before coming home. This surgery isn't going to be an easy one! Actually, it is dangerous and a very complicated surgery! The recovery is going to be worse then the surgery with him being paralyzed for a few days, on a respirator and when aware being irritable because he wants to eat, but can't. Once we get through that first week it will be easier, but first it is like looking at your shack and then the clouds that indicate a hurricane on the horizon. Does that make sense? Of late I have found it harder and harder to describe with accuracy my mixed bag of emotions!

Onto bed...Gotta get some rest tomorrow my sister and two of her kids are coming to visit! I can't wait!